Updating Websites: Thanks, But No Thanks.

Today on To Be Frank I’ll be projecting my 11 year old voice through the internet about the plain stupidity of updates that are put on social networks after scratching my eyes out attempting to play Card Jitsu Water on Club Penguin. I can’t even move, let alone kick the gong! The person that wins is always the person that manages, after minutes of button mashing, to move forward a space so that the other penguins fall off the waterfall. Now, the reason I hate this update so much is because seriously, it’s hard. Ultra hard. Metal with a brick on top hard. If you can actually move, most likely the poor computer has got so tired of you attacking the mouse, it decides to give you a little push. Another annoying update is on Roblox, where they are CONSTANTLY adding new updates to scripting, which is basically shoving a big lag magnet on the site.  Most people can’t figure out how to use the scripts anyway! Roblox also relentlessly releases new ways to get money! I mean, now there’s Builder’s Club, Turbo Builder’s club, AND Outrageous Builder’s Club! The only thing outrageous is the price. There’s limited items also, which is literally saying, “Get out your credit card, these things going quick so if you wanna get one, start stockpiling £115 into your account to buy it at the ridiculous price of 10000 Robux when the original thing was only 50 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The majority of Roblox is simply cheap jeans, muscle shirt, boring smiley face, and shaggy hair. All of which happens to cost 52 tickets, which you need to wait 6 days to get. I don’t see the point in it. Games should be fun and  free, not agonizingly hard and expensive. So just THINK before reaching for that keyboard and writing, “NEW! AWESOME CLUB OF AWESOMENESS! ONLY £500!!!!!!!!”

Frank

Dr Fright’s Halloween Horror Nights 2010

Last night I had probably the scariest night I have ever had in my life: Dr Fright’s Halloween Horror Nights 2010! It took up a field in White’s Farm at Clay Lane in Earls Barton, and had 3 mazes to choose from: Dr Fright’s Farmhouse Of Horror, The Asylum, and The Darkness. We only went in Farmhouse Of Horror, as we asked the person at the gate which was the least scary, as I can get scared easily. Yup, I was actually nearly crying at the gate. It had iron gates either side with pumpkins and music playing very LOUD! Not to mention the screams. Eventually I calmed down, ate some sweets with Alice, and stood in the queue. The Farmhouse was painted to look like wood, with smashed windows. There were hanging storm lanterns that wouldn’t stop flickering on and off from time to time, on one side a HEAD, and the other some laundry. And another head. There was blood on one of the outer walls. above the door was a message that said: “Fear: N: Dread, alarm, anxiety. Unpleasant emotion caused by coming evil or danger.” I then proceeded to say, “What are you going to do, scare us with dictionaries?” in a desperate attempt to sound brave. You had to go in in groups of 2 or 3, and the corridors were so narrow dad had to walk sideways. Lucky little Alice swiped the middle. It began when you entered the door and then the person in charge of tickets shut the door behind you. You then had to go up a flight of stairs. At the top there was a cell door like you would find in an asylum. Then, Hannibal Lecter popped up and banged on the door! I nearly fell backwards down the stairs. We then advanced through the corridor, and dad suffered an air blower: he walked past and it blew air on his neck, feeling like he had been grabbed by the neck! Then there was a mummy that was shaking in an attempt to break free. Then there was a woman sitting in a chair just shaking… and in the next room… ELECTRIC CHAIR! Yup. There was someone in an electric chair and suddenly ZZZAP! The sounds coming from the animatronic were amazing, his hair actually stood up on end. When it turned off he just started talking, and when you left more electricuting. Ouch. Then we came to a couple of people hanging from the ceiling, and ghosts wandering around beneath them. Then stairs. We thought it was the end. Big mistake. Someone came down in the lift doing nothing, and we all thought he wasn’t going to do anything when suddenly he yelled “Go! I’ll get you if you go last!!!” I was last, so I screamed and told dad to hurry up. He was literally dragging me across the floor. In the next corridor, just machinery. Not scary. But near the exit there was someone round the corner who walked towards you as you left… Terrifying. Simply terrifying. But no, it wasn’t over yet! A chainsaw maniac ran out from behind The Asylum, went round the back of Farmhouse Of Terror and The Darkness, before running towards the farmhouse and back towards The Asylum, before terrifying some people eating at benches and running to the burger bar. One man was putting mustard on his hot dog and then the maniac ran past, he actually dropped his hot dog and got mustard all down his shirt!!! Then the maniac round the toilets and back round the burger bar, this time a woman was innocently drinking Dr Pepper, and then she just dropped it and sprinted screaming away from the maniac!!! Then I decided it was time to leave. But guess what? Dad has only just got his insurance and it will take him a while to get used to driving till he can drive us, and mum had chickened out and was watching a comedian at the Royal And Derngate. We had to actually walk home! Scary, but a night to remember.

Frank

-Heya! Alice here. just editin.  great review frank, except you call me ‘lucky’. What you forgot to mention was that I ENDED UP BEING AT THE BACK, FRONT AND MIDDLE AT THE SAME TIME FOR SOME REASON!! mkay bye.

Back From France!

Hey Folks, on Sunday I got back from the Year 6 French Trip at school! We stayed in a center called Stella Plage, which was pretty nifty, but the lights kept going off at random and the TV came on at 7:30 in the morning at full volume on a stupid French Citroen trailer. Seriously, everybody in France either drives a Citroen or a Renault. Talk about bad taste in cars. We went to a cheese farm (smelly), a chocolate factory (yummy,)Bowling (fun), Cite De Europe (BOOOOORING, we went in only girl shops. We spent 20 minutes in New Look, and 2 minutes in Game. What made it even worse was the Year 6 girl Harry Stevens, he went into a shop and strolled out with a handbag! The girls all brought berets, so I used a little French… Obtenir un comme il faut chapuea! Which means get a proper hat. A passing French person stared at me. They were wearing a beret. Comic timing!) Agincourt (There was a couple of French people shuffling around, seriously regretting coming in) Boulogne (Full of market stalls) Nausicaa (Full of FISH!) And probably some other stuff I can’t remember. I had to resist singing a football song about France (and any other country occupied by Nazi Germany.)

Frank

Happy Birthday Frank! And Also, Some Pictures For Tommorow’s Party.

Well folks, for those who don’t know, yesterday was my birthday! It was awesome, at school I had various people carrying me around, like when I was piggybacked all the way across the playground while playing bulldog. 3 of my friends even picked me up and carried me down the stairs! But I swear I thought they were going to hurl me down the stairs. That would hurt a bit, ouch. For those who are wondering what I’ve got so far, well, I’ve got:

£30

A French dictionary (I’m going to France from 21st-24st October)

2 pairs of gloves.

A Beowulf film. Animation is similar to Shrek, but then, Shrek doesn’t have a  troll ripping somebody in half, or somebody slashing open the throat of a dragon and tearing out the heart. Theres a certain friend of mine who I’ll try to avoid watching it, or he’ll have his face pressed again the telly the moment Angelina Jolie walks on.

Well I’ve already learnt something from the French dictionary, and it’s the single most important phrase I’ll use in France: Obtenir un comme il faut chapeau. Get a proper hat, for those who are wondering. Blame my dad.

So here are my aunt’s pictures of the food!

All food courtesy of my aunt. Yes, she’s covered in synthetic blood.

Frank

P.S. See if you can find me on Facebook.

Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Wonderful Spam!

Greetings, today I’ll be posting some videos on the almighty Monty Python! Why? Because I saw Spamalot again last night. Trust me, it was hilarious, I mean, The Very Very Very Very Round Table???!!! Up with Monty Python!

Monty Python. Wait, uhhhh…. Frank

Good Joy, Halloween!

Hey, today on To Be Frank I’ll be talking about Halloween and stuff. So, what’s so good about Halloween anyway? Multiple reasons really. You can show off your costumes, get sweets/candy (delete according to nationality) and generally loads of stuff. Here I’m going to list the rules for the good old party game Werewolf, also known as Mafia. Facebook deja vu happening here.

Roles:

Werewolf: The star of the show, at night they come out and choose a villager they want to kill. And probably eat. Anybody fancy a ham sandwich?

Villager: The majority of the players. They simply vote for who they think is the werewolf, and then… KILL THEM >:D

Seer: A villager with psychic powers. They can choose one person who they think is a werewolf, and then they will be told who it is.

Moderator: The overlord of the whole game, they tell you when to wake up, when the werewolves choose who to kill etc.

The Rules:

Pretty simple. The players sit in a circle with the moderator outside. When it is “night” the  players close their eyes and imitate sleeping, and the moderator says “Werewolves, come out.” This is the tense part, the werewolves will tap somebody on the shoulder. That player will stand up and go to a corner, which is the werewolves cave, where the villagers killed by werewolves will be stacked up. When it is “day” the players will look around the circle and see who is dead.. The villagers will then vote off who they think is the werewolf. If it is a draw, the players will vote between the two. The person who the villager decide to kill must stand in the middle of the circle. The moderator will ask the players if they are sure they want to kill them. If more than half of the players aren’t sure, they will recast the vote. The villagers will then stand up and close in on the poor player, and then stab him to death. If you are dead, you must lie on the floor unmoving until the game ends. If you die you can be as violent as you want. Yes, the bodies will stack up in the circle and the cave. There is a way to save everybody the tension. If more than half the people say they want to sacrifice somebody, then the players vote who they want to sacrifice. One villager will then go over and pretend to tie that person up. That player must lie with their arms and legs together, imitating being tied up. The villagers will then pick up that person and place them in the werewolves cave. At night the werewolves will go to the cave and eat the sacrifice. They must then decide using hand signals if they were happy with it, which they can judge on how thin somebody is etc. Thumbs up for happy, thumbs down for unhappy. The moderator will ask “Werewolves, are you happy?” And the werewolves will make the hand signal. The moderator will then announce “The werewolves are NOT happy.” or “The werewolves are happy.” If a werewolf is chosen as a sacrifice, they will break free and the moderator will say “The werewolves are NOT happy” 3 seconds after he asks ”Werewolves, are you happy?” So the werewolves will kill 2 people. If you are dead, you must SHUT UP! Also, ratting out your werewolf partner will result in being rumbled by the moderator, as it is cheating. Oh, and there can be 1-2 werewolves, 0-1 seers, and the rest will be villagers. Also, at the start the moderator randomly chooses the werewolves by tapping them. At the start all the players will have their eyes closed anyway, as it will be night at the start.

So there you have it folks!

Frank

P.S. Somebody at school asked how I got so much at Halloween… Well this nice guy gave me something. Here’s a pic.

Big Bucks: How To Sell!

Allo, today I’ll be talking about how to make some £££ (or $$$ if you’re American). So heres 10 tips!

10. Be friendly! Nobody is going to buy anything if you act like you’re in prison or somebody has died!

9. Always make your prices cheap. People are always looking for a bargain, I made £19 by selling stuff for 10p to £1. Apart from my peak condition robosapien.

8. Be honest. You’ll earn a bad reputation if you lie about something, if you were given to much, give them the change!

7. When your setting up a garage sale, always think “Do I really need this?”

6. NEVER sell anything broken.

5. It’s pointless selling something that NOBODY will buy.

4. Don’t charge  higher if you have a grudge against somebody!

3. If its got your name on it, DON’T sell it! People will look ridiculous carrying around something that says “Jack Krinklesnoop”!!!

2.Don’t even bother selling something to somebody when they don’t even have the stuff they need to use it.

1. Sell off some old games! If you’ve beaten it 257 times, SELL IT!

Oh, and To Be Frank is coming to Facebook!

Frank

Warhammer 40,000 Promotion

Leman Russ, Primarch of the Space Wolves.

Today I’ll be doing a Warhammer 40,000 Promotion! So I’ll be answering questions about Warhammer and giving 10 reasons why its awesome. First, the questions!

Q: What is Warhammer?

A: In Warhammer you own an army and fight other armies with lasers, guns, and other Sci-Fi weapons.

Q: What armies are there?

A: Blood Angels, Chaos Daemons, Chaos Space Marines, Daemonhunters, Eldar, Dark Eldar, Imperial Guard, Necrons, Orks, Space Marines, Space Wolves, Tau Empire, Tyranids, and Witch Hunters.

Q: Why should I take it up?

A: Because many people find it interesting if you understand. Also, it requires a lot of logic to do things such as decide the best way to attack the enemy, and decide what weapon to shoot what person.

Now the reasons!

10. Few people can resist incredibly big explosions, which are plentiful in Warhammer.

9. The miniatures look AWESOME, and they are VERY detailed.

8. The arguing about the superior army can get HILARIOUS.

7. HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE guns.

6. Different types of objectives, such as jamming an engine (Space Hulk) or wiping out the enemy (Usual objective)

5. Plenty of different armies to keep you choosing.

4. Building/painting can be done with a friend/relative to improve relationships.

3. Its Sci-Fi.

2. Very imaginative names. I mean, Necrons???!!! Who would have thought of that?

1. Team up with other players to CRUSH the opposition, making friends in the process.

So thats all for today!

Frank

LEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEEENKINS!!!!!!!!!!!

Got a bit of swearing in it, yet hilarious.

Frank

Happy Birthday Dad!

Hey, sorry about the absence of a post yesterday, but today I’m going to talk about why my dad is awesome. For those who don’t know, its his birthday today. So heres my ten reasons why my dad is awesome.

10. He loves and cares for me.

9. He’s a good cook.

8. He spends loads of time with me.

7. He’s my dad.

6. He actually understands me when I talk about zombies, because he’s seen a few zombie movies and plays house of the dead when we’re at an arcade.

5. He’s a good person to talk to.

4. He doesn’t get annoyed if I ask lots of questions.

3. He shares my sense of good humor.

2. If he says something’s funny, usually its HILARIOUS.

1. He makes me laugh.

So theres my reasons.

Frank